Some wise people say loneliness is not the same as being alone. So true, it’s been years of observation of mine that I stand here today studying the bold story of my ups and downs. The insults I have gone through, the pride and the self respect that I lost.

This is with respect to those who find peace and solace in selected few people and hence don’t plan for contingencies. People who look for quality more than the quantity of the crowd they move along, people who commit themselves to the ones they love, the ones they ever want to be with, the ones who deep in their heart crave for the company of those they wanna be wid.

So I wonder today, why do I feel so lonely, why when am lonely I feel happy, I feel more secured, I feel more sadist towards myself. Its true, whenever am alone, I breath, I feel no pressure forcing me to do things, no body expecting anything out of me, no body even looking at me. I feel as if I am in a heightened state of existence, where nobody, not even god can match up to me, I am alone, thinking and thinking and thinking, endlessly.

It was never by force or by someone not being that I have chosen this path, it’s the perils of my devious mind that I have chosen to detach my self from this cursed world. I don’t belong here and so doesn’t my existence. I am the Satan’s incarnate and hell is all I desire, lonely as I could be, deep in a dark corner where even light is afraid to venture. Plucking my wounds and seeing my blood spurt out like a river spurting to the sea.

I’ve said before and I say now, its no-one that I blame for this vague state of my curse. Its also no-one that I credit for getting me this plague I cherish so much today. The restaurants where my crowd used to be in the limelight, the bars where we’d go tulli and spill more than we would ever drink, all gone.

Today its me and the cursed body I am bestoved nesting my shattered soul in love with the pain we share between us.